Do we need to make more efforts to keep the romance alive?
Some of us go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, at the urging of a friend in a long-distance relationship. They have been together for several years but at the moment, due to work commitments, they can only see each other on weekends.
I wondered if they’d rather make the most of a more intimate dinner together on Valentine’s Day, rather than with us as a group. But he replied, ‘no, it’s okay, we’ve been together for years, we’re at the no-cards, no-flowers, no-gifts stage in our relationship.
This led me to reflect later on whether we need to try harder in our long-term relationships. While it’s nice to be settled in comfortably and not have to constantly try to impress our partner, surely it’s the little things, often not particularly necessary, that help keep the romance alive in our relationships.
Those little touches keep the flames flickering and sustain us through the mundane and mundane moments of everyday life. We may not ‘need’ that card or bouquet of flowers, but it can certainly make us smile at being thought of with affection.
What are some ways to keep the romance alive?
– Don’t neglect the basics. Take care of yourself physically. Stay on top of your hygiene, take responsibility for your health, for looking elegant, for your appearance. It’s great to kick off your shoes and into casual clothes after a stressful day, but it’s not good looks to do it automatically every day. There are times when looking good is important to both you and your partner, and you’ll feel more attractive and confident when you make the effort.
Don’t be that partner who gets carried away. Yes, we all change physically over the years, but exercise, dental checkups, and a healthy lifestyle are our choices that help us take the best care of ourselves.
– Stay interesting. Instead of slumping down in a chair in front of the television every night, why not suggest a walk, a pleasant outing, or an interesting hobby from time to time? ‘School nights’ can be hectic and exhausting, but so can repeating the same old routine every day. Being up-to-date with current affairs, willing and interested in learning what’s new from others. A little planning and effort can help keep the romance alive.
– Simple keys are important. Perhaps offer to babysit so your partner can have an afternoon off for shopping, golfing, or a quiet afternoon. Do tasks without being asked or, worse yet, repeatedly reminded. It makes life much easier and less stressful for everyone and allows both of you to feel involved in all areas of the relationship.
– Why not send a text message? with a simple “thinking of you” message. Wanting nothing more than to say, ‘I love you’. Or run them a bath when they get home from a busy day at work or with the kids, or offer them a back or foot massage.
– Keep the romance alive. you don’t need to spend money. Giving a framed photo of ‘our’ favorite place, a compilation of ‘our’ songs, a pressed sheet or a champagne cork for a special date can be beautiful, much-appreciated gestures that show love and care for those important memories. Thoughtful and romantic gestures are often more appreciated than any expensive gift from a department store.
– Many of us have several sets of relationships. who need juggling that can sometimes cause us stress. Work, family, friends can sometimes be demanding and require additional input. Being romantic is also about being insightful and considerate. Occasionally suggesting something that would ease our partner’s stress levels, like visiting their family or taking them out for a meal, could be seen as romantic. Or being kind enough to accompany them to an event or social occasion that is important to them can mean a lot.
On second thought, keeping the romance alive isn’t just about red roses and chocolates. Often, making the effort with sensible gestures and actions can be proof enough that we care, and that can be enough to keep the romance alive in our relationship.