Ready for a relationship? ladies not so fast
Relations. They are a great thing when they are right. Two people coming together and sharing a deep, loving bond that is pure, honest, genuine, and nothing short of divine—that’s powerful. When two people are aligned with each other’s vision for life and come together to improve each other’s lives, what a dynamic duo. So if you’re single and want a relationship, I imagine that might be what you’re looking for. And that kind of love can happen for you. But not if you agree. Several women today seem to be fine with accepting breadcrumbs from men. They are desperate to be in a relationship or at least have someone, so they tolerate mere drops of attention or affection. The main reason why I think women settle because we are programmed to do so. They started with dolls and dollhouses from a very young age, conditioning us that our role is to take care of the home and be good women for our husbands. So we grow up fantasizing about our wedding day, our knight in shining armor, and starting a family—the perfect picture of the American dream. And 30 somehow became the magical age that this perfect dream should happen. So if you hit 30 and you’re single, then society leads you to believe that something is wrong with you. And so we began to question our worth as a woman. Contrary to popular belief, a woman’s purpose on this earth is NOT just to be a wife. It’s NOT just being a mother. Each woman was blessed with gifts and talents by God, so in addition to utilizing those gifts, she may choose to become a wife and/or mother. You are NOT defined by a man or your relationship status. Many women get into relationships for the wrong reasons and continue to end in disaster. To avoid repeating the same cycles like a broken record, here are some signs that you may be in a relationship for the wrong reasons:
in a hurry You reach 30 years (or more) and you panic. You think you are old. Somehow you are convinced that if you are 35, for example, you are old. Well, that mindset is what will lead you to the wrong relationship because your intention of a relationship is that you don’t get too old and have someone instead of being with the right person. You think you have to hurry because your biological clock is ticking. And while some may argue that statistics show that the older a woman gets, the more difficult it is for her to conceive, there are also plenty of women who deliver healthy babies over the age of 30. According to Americanpregnancy.org, “Many women today find themselves trying to conceive after the age of 35. This opportunity can be filled with joy and full of questions. Despite some challenges, many women in their thirties and forties conceive successfully.” . I understand that you want to give yourself the best possible chance with regard to fertility, but would you rather rush and mate for life with a child of the wrong man or hope for God’s best? I hope you prefer the latter. Rushing in a relationship can’t be good.
Filling a Void. Do you really want a relationship or are you just bored? You are alone? Sometimes we get into relationships to fill a void. We are looking for a person to fill a void in our lives that can only be filled with our own self-love. You need to get back to some activities you like. Go back to your goals and dreams. What are your passions? What encourages you? You want a relationship to fill something internally. You are looking for external validation to make yourself feel worthy; if you get into a relationship then that shows they still want you. Well, if you go into a relationship looking for someone to prove yourself, then don’t be surprised if it doesn’t work out. Only you must determine its value. Work on yourself. Invest in yourself. Give back to yourself. In other words, take some time for yourself. In this way you will fill yourself up and you will not need to look for a relationship to fill a void in your life.
You are not ready. Are you really ready for a relationship? Are you really ready to do the work it takes to build a strong foundation from the ground up, or are you just in love with the idea of being in a relationship? Many of us are simply not ready for love. We think we are because we watch romantic movies or read romantic novels. Unless you’re willing to take your time and really get to know someone below the surface, you’re not ready. You are not ready to make another person a priority. You are not really in a space to give to another person. Love comes to give. You have to take the other person into account when it comes to certain things. You can’t behave like or have one mindset if you’re going to be in a relationship. You have to start preparing for it. Do you really think about whether you’re really ready to fully commit to someone else, or honestly, you just like the idea of everything? Give up the fairy tale. It is not reality.
I believe in love. I believe that people can manifest true love. I believe that we can all have the love that we want and deserve by right, but we must not settle. We need to do the internal work within us as well. Let’s be clear where we are in life. A relationship (or marriage) isn’t going to magically make everything better. Do the inner work and be honest with yourself about your intention for a relationship. Don’t rush into a relationship just for the sake of having one. You deserve so much more. you are a queen Love yourself enough to hope for the best.