Legal Law

Why and how smartphones have become a problem in marriages

Smartphones have opened up a whole new handheld world. We have immediate access to an infinite variety of information, as well as distractions in the form of applications, games, social networks and the Internet in general. Without a doubt, this type of technology has improved our lives in many ways. However, it is increasingly becoming a problem in relationships and marriages, and it is worth taking a look at why and how to see what is happening.

While smartphones, by design, can improve communication in many ways (think how easy it is to call or text your spouse, video chat when you’re away, email them, and more), they can also hinder communication in a relationship. When one or both parties are always looking at their phone instead of chatting with whoever is in front of them, that’s a problem.

Or you find someone who is always half in and half out in terms of their attention, and is distracted by what they are doing and who they are really with. This drop in communication also reduces the quality time you have with your partner and could continue to swing in a negative direction.

Then there is the world of social media, which is increasingly recognized as unhealthy or counterproductive across a spectrum of areas, be it the emotional health of children and adolescents or to facilitate the spread of toxic or false information. With marriages and relationships, the problem with social media may lie in our tendency to compare ourselves to the lives of others. Maybe another couple is always posting the vacation photo in an exotic location, or has the home or lifestyle of their dreams, or whatever the case may be.

However, all of this really makes you feel worse about yourself or your own circumstances. Nor is it reality. What we see on social media is just a glimpse of another person, usually designed to show them the best of themselves, and not their entire day-to-day life.

Another area to consider is dating apps. One of the parties in a relationship might not dare so easily to go to a bar and try to pick someone up, but would rather run the risk of breaking into their smartphones. Even if the intention is just to “look at what’s out there” or try to get compliments or positive attention, that’s clearly still a problem. And it’s a slippery slope that could quickly spiral out of control, too. Also, keep in mind that communications from dating apps can be discovered in divorce cases and you may be forced to present those communications to the other party.

Clearly, there are many issues with smartphones and the way they impact our lives in terms of our marriages and relationships. If you feel that you have experienced this yourself, then you are not alone. Maybe it’s something you can talk about with your partner, with their phones out of sight, of course.

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