Are you sick of being dumped because you are insecure and jealous?
Did your boyfriend leave you because you wouldn’t leave him alone? Did you drive him crazy with questions about where and who he was with?
This is a guaranteed way to lose a relationship. When a couple is insecure and jealous, everything is in danger. Being pestered all the time for your every move would drive a wedge between even the most loving couples.
It all came to a head when your boyfriend went to a game with his friends and you accused him of being with another girl. He got over it and he told you. So now you’re alone crying without the boy you thought you loved. What a mess. Didn’t you see the warning signs? How upset he was every time you showed how insecure you were. He thought he had met a great girl like he told you but he didn’t sign up because of all your emotional baggage.
Leave him alone for now as you have a lot of work to do on yourself. Your boyfriend was a quiet guy with lots of friends who loved you but you tried to change him. You wanted him to be with you twenty-four hours a day and for him to have no life of his own. No offense, but he wasn’t your prisoner, just your partner. You needed to trust him and let him have his space.
So why have you become so insecure and jealous? First we need to look at your last relationships and maybe find a boyfriend who cheats on you or controls you. You may have thought they were your soul mate until the day you caught him cheating on him with another woman. The problem is how it affected you. Instead of knowing that this guy was a jerk, you projected all the negativity onto yourself. You swore you would never let it happen again so when you arrived with your now ex boyfriend you would not let him out of your sight. This resulted in you feeling anxious all the time and accusing him of doing the same thing as the other guy. You didn’t give your ex a chance because you decided he was going to cheat on you and you made it your ritual to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
What a way to live. I can see you checking the poor guy’s every move like some kind of super detective waiting to catch him. Instead he got fed up and left you. Who could blame him? He probably thought you were starting to act like some kind of stalker.
Just because one bad thing happens, you can’t take it with you into every relationship. You have to figure it out and leave it at the door. Unless you’re in the habit of picking serial cheaters, which I highly doubt, you’ve probably found a good one this time. The only way to get it back is to show that you have changed. You may need counseling if you can’t do it on your own, as some wounds run very deep. It could be things from your childhood, even when dad may have cheated on your mom, so you think all men do this. Get the help you need and don’t let other people’s attitudes ruin your chance of a good relationship. I think you’re already exhausted anyway. It’s no fun having to control your boyfriend all the time.
So, either with counseling or on your own, control these insecurities and jealousy. If you think you’ve done it, then getting back with this guy is going to take some work. But it can be done. If you had taken my advice and not disturbed him while you did your own personal reconstruction, he would have noticed. The next thing he should do is go out with friends and have fun. Make sure you look really good, as you want him to appreciate what he saw the first time he asked you out. Do not show any signs of sadness or depression, as he will think that you are still the same.
You’ve scared this guy, so getting him back won’t be easy. You could contact him and tell him that you’re sorry you put him through all that insecurity and that you know he’s a nice guy. Then leave him alone again. Time will heal and if he sees you looking good and confident, you may have a chance. Next time let the poor thing breathe. If you do get back together with him and feel those old insecurities creeping up again, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is a thing of the past.