Letters of condolence: writing a letter of condolence to an adult who has lost a parent

Condolence letters offer comfort and support long after the death of a parent, which can take years to accept. Your condolence letter can be a source of comfort during those difficult years. As we age, we begin to reconcile ourselves to the fact that our parents are likely to die before we do. Our parents live longer, which gives us more time to accept their death. But faced with the reality of his death, it is very difficult to overcome the emotions of pain and bewilderment. A sincerely written letter of condolence can help the grieving adult child get through the tough times ahead.

Adult children dealing with the death of a parent

Regardless of your age and experience, your father is always your father. Your bond with your parents is a part of your identity that never goes away. All can be related to the death of a parent, biological or not, grandparent or guardian.

Each of us is a son or a daughter, who at some point will lose a parent. You can use this knowledge as the basis for your letter of condolence to the grieving adult son. If you have already lost a parent, think about how you felt and how you reacted, and imagine that this is what the grieving person is feeling right now. If you haven’t lost a parent yet, imagine what that could be like for you and those bereaved. Write down those emotions and notes to use later in your condolence letter.

A friend of mine, whose father had passed away, told me how terrified he was to be approaching forty-two because his father passed away at forty-two. When parents die, you become more aware of your own mortality. Sometimes you may feel like your parents have abandoned you and you are now an orphan no matter how old you are. The feeling of loss overshadows everything you do.

Understanding this will help you write a great condolence letter that truly comforts and supports your grieving adult child.

Deal with the pain

For many adult children, grieving in public is unacceptable. People disapprove of such behavior. Friends and supporters focus their attention on the surviving spouse or grandchildren. Nobody recognizes that adult children are also suffering. Furthermore, when there is a surviving father, the adult son feels that it is his duty to “take care” of his father and to suppress his own pain.

Your condolence letter should acknowledge the fact that grief is not only acceptable, but also necessary to overcome the pain of losing a parent. Your condolence letter is likely to be read in private when grieving people can allow their emotions to come out, no matter what, sadness, anger, fear, relief, etc.

Death after a prolonged illness

As an adult, watching your parents go through a long period of serious illness is a burden. The stress of being financially and emotionally responsible for your care is tremendous. You should also spend a lot of time caring for your parents. If you consider the bright side, you will have more than enough time to prepare emotionally to say goodbye. On the other hand, death can bring relief mixed with anger, exhaustion, and depression.

Your condolence letter to the adult son of a parent who died from a prolonged illness should also acknowledge the dedication and commitment you made to care for them, and now the bereaved can rest and take care of themselves. They did everything they could for their parents.

Write a letter of condolence

The death of a parent can be devastating, a relief, or anything in between. Knowing that a complex parent-child relationship exists and understanding that this is a difficult time, no matter what the relationship was like, will help you write a moving and effective letter of condolence.

The most important thing to remember is that it doesn’t matter what you write. Just go ahead and write that condolence letter.