Overcoming negativity: overcoming defeat with the "I can" Habit
We all grew up reading “The Little Train That Could.” We are familiar with Henry Ford’s famous quote: “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!”
We all know that without the “I can’ts” that pop up so often in our minds, ready to push us out of the way to get what we want, our lives would be very different indeed. We would all be winners, and we would all have great success. So how do we overcome defeat?
What you exercise becomes stronger. Strengthen your muscles in the gym every day and you will have strong muscles. Avoid exercise and the muscles will become weak. This is why “I can’ts” have so much power: they get a lot of practice.
How do we strengthen our “I Can”? With great diligence and determination. The more we can stick to our “I Cans” no matter what he says i can’t intimidate the greater capacity we have to achieve our desires.
Reinforce your “I can’s.” Remind yourself by repeating affirmations like, Of course I can, I don’t need to hear that negative voice. It takes 21 consecutive days to change any habit, so don’t get discouraged. Keep it up, and before you know it, your little “I Can’s” will grow louder into magnificent voices of freedom, encouraging him to achieve whatever his heart desires.
Listen carefully to the “I can.” Hold on to them. Although “I can’ts” can be deafening, you are well aware of their opposites. They reside within you. They often come up with new ideas for you to consider. The “I can’s” appear when you are full of enthusiasm for a new approach to life. You’ve decided it’s time for a change: a new body, a new relationship, a career change, taking a risk.
The “I Cans” have the illusion and enthusiasm of a child. The “I Cans” have a lot of energy and we love having them around. But just when the “I Can’ts” are ready to begin… The dark sedan rolls silently past you in which the “Can’t’s” are comfortably seated, menacing faces and all. They say your name, slowly getting out of the car, flexing their muscles. They want you to know that they have arrived.
The “can’ts” (the bullies that they are) want to remind you that they are in charge. And when the “can’ts” start to intimidate, the “can’ts” quickly back off and back off.
The conscious mind is where things start. We have an idea, and we begin to imagine what it would be like. We want success, of course we do. A new idea excites us and we say, “I want to go for this. This is really what I want, and I think I can do it.” So why do our efforts to get what we want often turn into a boxing match for defeat? Why the self-sabotage?
Because those bullies, the “can’ts”, rise from the subconscious where they lie in wait, ready to remind us that we can’t succeed, that we can’t succeed. The “I can’t” joke sounds something like this: you cannot change; This is not for you. Don’t even begin to think you have what it takes… who do you think you are?
“I can remind you,” they shout, “success is for everyone else, certainly not you! This (action, change, innovation) is not safe for you, so don’t even try it.” So our little “I Can’s” are defeated. They are not strong enough to deal with the bully. The “can’ts” are so powerful that we give in to them, and then return to the old familiar status quo.
Having said all this, know that “I Can’s” are often made of stagnant energy. So if you are feeling frustrated, seek help from a qualified healthcare professional. Body-focused therapies, such as EFT or other energy medicine techniques, can be a great way to clear emotional blocks and overcome defeat.