Save Your Marriage – Break the love triangle to save your marriage
The main reason for the failure of marriage
Affairs are the number one reason marriages break up. Asked what went wrong with her marriage, Princess Diana said: “There were three of us in the marriage.” What happens when there are three in a relationship that is only for two? The answer is obvious. The relationship is broken. Is there any hope for a relationship with three in it?
Not if it’s still like this. What about polygamy?, you ask. If you ask yourself that question, I bet you’re a man. You see, generally polygamy (although it is allowed in some religions) only favors men. That’s because men can love someone or something almost as much as they love their wives. A man can genuinely love his wife (almost) as much as he loves his wife. He’s wired that way. Not so woman. No wife would like to share her husband. Not if she could help it. What can be done then to break the love triangle? It depends. There are two possible scenarios.
The first is where both partners agree to break it. The second is where only the innocent partner wishes to break it but the other does not. Let’s see them one by one.
the first scenario
The first scenario is easier for obvious reasons. When both partners agree, they can work together to break the relationship between the wandering partner and the third party. In such a case, it is important to have a clean and abrupt break. It is not recommended that the unfaithful couple and the third party stop seeing each other little by little. This is because an illicit relationship always involves strong emotional ties. Trying to end the relationship gradually only prolongs the pain and exacerbates the difficulty. Just as a drug addict must be completely and radically cut off from any opportunity to obtain drugs, so a wayward spouse must be totally prohibited from any contact with a third party. However, most of the time this is easier said than done. What can the straying companion do if the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak? This is where close friends play an important supporting role. These friends can lovingly interpose between the couple and the third party. Extreme sensitivity is required. All parties must carry out their respective responsibilities with sympathy and sensitivity but with firmness and strength. But friends can only do so much. Each couple must do their part to break the love triangle. What should the aggrieved partner do?
It is the responsibility of the aggrieved couple not to blame themselves, nor to blame their husband (or wife, as the case may be). It is often never one person’s fault. The wronged partner must forgive unconditionally even though it may be hard to forget. It is important to be affectionate, supportive and tolerant with your partner. Don’t focus on your mistake, but instead focus on what is meaningful and virtuous in your relationship and build on that. Your spouse may have been unfaithful, but he or she certainly has other qualities that are positive and healthy. He or she may be a good provider for the family or have a great sense of humor or even be a good cook. Whatever your partner’s positive attribute is, build on it. Find ways to accentuate or use these positive qualities to improve your relationship and family life. What about the partner in evil?
The wayward spouse has a responsibility to be sensitive to their spouse’s feelings. Don’t do or say anything to hurt her ever again. Cooperate with your spouse. Do what she wants or needs. Her security of undivided love is crucial to her at this time. Put your spouse above all else during this period of reconciliation. Get home early from work, do the housework, take care of the kids as much as you can, spend quality time at home with your partner and kids. If you need to, take some time to be just the two of you.
the second scenario
The second scenario is more difficult to solve but not impossible. If your partner refuses to break the love triangle, the first thing to do is make a firm commitment to treat yourself well, whether or not your partner stops the affair. Your partner will never respect you if you get depressed, act helpless, filled with self-pity, or lose control of yourself. That brings me to the next step.
The next thing is not to condemn the wayward partner. If he or she refuses to leave the relationship, the best approach would be to win back her affections. In a love triangle, the wayward partner has allowed their affections to drift towards someone else, so they would be right to win back these affections. Do whatever it takes to win back your lost lover. Somewhere deep inside him or her, your partner still loves you. Help him rediscover that first love. Do everything with a main objective.
The goal is to make him break the love triangle VOLUNTARILY. Opposing or accusing a third party often doesn’t work. On the contrary, it could backfire as it will most likely lead your partner to defend you. Also don’t fight fire with fire like Charles and Diana did (one with Camilla, the other with Dodi). An eye for an eye doesn’t work. Therefore, take the positive approach. Connect, communicate, and meaningfully communicate with your partner again. Change anything about yourself that is not pleasing to him. Show him that you are different now, that you are much better than before.
Pray for God to change your heart. Be faithful to him or her even if for now it is not reciprocated. With persistent efforts in this direction, you will turn it around, and the love triangle will break.