UFO – Xrytspet report to Zoodnock about Louocksplieol in G200765
When Xrytspet brought his C-971L7B to my truck when I first encountered that intergalactic sprite, I transcribed some of the code using the C-971L7B itself to transliterate Xrytspet’s native language used on his home planet of Fanton into G1000984578889990766 to Spanish. This happened by accident because I would have wanted the transliteration to be used in English on my planet Earth in the Milky Way.
In reality, it was all an accident and he had no idea what he had done. We hit a pothole on the desert road and my elbow pressed the discharge button on the C-97L7B and a small module came out and went into my pants cuff. I had no idea what I had done or that there was now a module in my fist. He was completely oblivious to the fact that he had done something significant or anything for that matter.
As you may remember, Xrytspet said he put his spaceship in the back of my truck, but when I got in the truck, my wife asked me why it took me so long. I looked back and couldn’t see any spaceship. I later learned that Xrytspet was in the back of the truck to secure his spaceship, but he had turned invisible so as not to disrupt my wife’s psyche. He joined us in the cab of the truck, but neither my wife nor I saw anything.
If you don’t remember, you can read my article about that encounter at: http://ezinearticles.com/?UFO:-How-I-Met-Xrytspet&id=92151
Anyway, long story short, Xrytspet had a problem with his spaceship, the FnL7 Time Craft. It was an earlier model and on rare occasions it sat idle. This was corrected in later models by removing an algorithm in the fuel conservation system that misread certain control module code. Xrytspet’s new FnL7 Time Craft doesn’t have that conflict between modules.
As for the C-971L7B itself, it’s Xrytspet’s handheld comm module that usually plugs into a slot on the FnL7 Time Craft.
The small module appeared when my wife was doing laundry. She saw that it would fit into my computer’s USB port, so she just plugged it in and washed again. She told me what she had done when I got home after wrestling a six-foot sturgeon in the Snake River. It took me an hour to get the monster fish to shore so I could turn her around while she fished out the hook and let go. As usual, my wife didn’t believe my fish story, so I went to my computer.
The little module was nothing I had ever seen, but it certainly slipped right into the USB port. I went to My computer and clicked “Removable Disk (L)”. Camera up: Reported at Zoodnock at Louocksplieol in G200765.
I was wondering what it was. Every line of the report was written in what I imagined to be “reformed Egyptian” as mentioned in the Book of Mormon published by Joseph Smith, Jr. in 1830 in Palmyra, NY. Below each line was the Spanish translation. Having had some experience in the language and the availability of various translation resources on the Internet plus my two children (who are fluent in Spanish and born to good parents), I proceeded with the translation excerpts of which are as follows:
Report to Zoodnock about Louocksplieol in G200765
Honorable Zoodnock, Prince of Louocksplieol in G200765, Winner in dglooling at the Olympics in G200765, Writer of terrifying porters, Father of the Second Louocksplieol, etc., I Xrytspet bring you greetings from Earth in G8933444272, or the “Mostly Despicable Planet” .
Conclusion of this report
You Zoodnock on Louocksplieol in G200765, although I know you will come, you must discard any idea of traveling through the immensity of space and time to come to this degenerate planet occupied by the predominant species, the homosapien, whose species is creative and dangerous because of its progenitors of primates and the still deadly Crocadilia that helped form the cortex of his brain.
Honorable Zoodnock, if you were foolish enough to travel to this galaxy and venture into the environs of Earth, your peaceful mission would be destroyed by the so-called “happy politicians and military”.
Earthlings only have control of atomic fission (but cannot control atomic fusion), however they make explosive fission and fusion bombs that can devastate entire cities. They have missiles that can deliver these weapons, which is what they would launch if their spacecraft found themselves approaching their planet. There is no central government on this planet, so you could be attacked by various entities, none of them friendly to intergalactic visitors like you.
Even if you gained acceptance for your First Strike method and were allowed to roam the earth among the surviving inhabitants, this planet has many pitfalls because the inhabitants are infected with many diseases that you Louocksplieolians have no resistance to. None of you could survive here. Knowing that you will come anyway, I have provided the necessary technical information to protect you from this threat.
It is true that the Earth has an abundance of nitrogen to breathe. Earthlings just expel nitrogen by selectively removing oxygen, so there would be no conflict there. Also, they have a substance they call “char”, predominantly carbon that you would enjoy, especially the hard anthracite varieties, so you wouldn’t be competing for food. However, they wouldn’t tolerate your black skin and different smelling perspiration until you started wearing what they call “deodorants.” These products are mostly what they call “stores” and have allowed the integration of races on earth.
If you insist on coming, I suggest you pack those deodorants to take with you. Typical compositions are given in the Appendix. I realize that you do not have the ability to smell, as that need has disappeared in your long past, but you must take this information into account.
I could point out that each Earth race cannot stand the natural scent of the other races. Black, red, white or yellow skin is not the factor; skin color just says you’re a different race your race doesn’t want to get too close if you don’t wear deodorant.
The fact that you Louocksplieolians expel much more carbon and sulfur dioxide than Earthlings will not be well accepted on Earth. Unlike the Louocksplieolians, Earthlings are subject to heat, cold, and light. They have completely polluted your planet with what they call “greenhouse gases” that form in the atmosphere and trap heat from your puny sun to the point that the planet suffers from what they call “global warming” resulting in the arctic melt. and Antarctic ice fields are raising ocean levels, unfavorably modifying the climate and threatening to flood your coastal cities and turn your farmland into desert. Your presence would only speed up this process in the minds of Earthlings.
I know you will come to earth but you will leave your valuables at home. Earthlings are greedy thieves who want what they don’t have. Also, there is no reason to believe what an earthling says, especially if the earthling is a politician or clergyman. Definitions of these terms are found in the Appendix. You should not believe what uneducated or overly educated earthlings say, for that matter.
While there are many things to consider, which follow in the details of this report, you must remember that Earthlings are killers by nature. Your fur will not be in your favor because earthlings kill animals with fur. I am sorry to inform you of this, but it is the truth of the matter. You will have to be prepared to flee even in the face of the slightest threat.
I must add that due to its large size it will be confused with Phantos or “Big Foot” as it is known here. They are continually looking for this poor Chicana. I’m afraid you come here to add to Phantos’s confusion and grievance.
The rest of the report was very comprehensive and focused on everything from “Biblical Mythology Derived from Egypt and Persia” to “The Spanish Inquisitions”. There was much more detail in the description of the Earth Wars than in our history books. Xrytspet has resources that we don’t have. However, I think she was just filling out the report in regards to the wars. I learned from Xrytspet that warfare is considered a very stupid and harmful activity on other planets and is the reason most intergalactic communities avoid and even forbid contact with Earth.
The end
copyright©2007 John Taylor Jones, Ph. D. Taylor Jones The Hack Writer