Women attract men by sexualizing themselves
We wear clothes to keep us warm, to have decency, to protect ourselves and also to show off. The need to differentiate ourselves depends on our personality. Some women use clothing as a means of providing sexual provocation (a form of invitation). Women tend to show their bodies to the full extent allowed by the definition of decency in the society in which they live. So Western women wear low-cut tops that accentuate their cleavage and push-up bras that make their breasts appear larger. Men don’t show themselves this way.
We can differentiate between what turns on and what turns on. An arousal is a sight, sound, or behavior that can wake someone up. What excites you is not always associated with the intention to wake up. Men tend to confuse what turns on (such as attractiveness) with what turns on (conscious sexual behaviors of women).
A coming is destined to provoke excitement. A come-on is essentially a sexual invitation. Specifically, a tease is a behavior that a woman uses to arouse a man so that he wants to have sex with her. She is very explicit about what she says or does, so there is no question that she is making a sexual invitation. This behavior is very common in pornography. Real women can use the simple mechanism of wearing a robe as a garment.
Young women are more inclined to show their bodies because they are looking for a partner. Many women believe that it is an essential part of their femininity to wear shoes that show their feet or clothes that accentuate their figure. They assume that a woman who wears practical shoes or functional clothing must be a lesbian or perhaps want to be a man. But how a woman dresses is just behavior and not a sign of responsiveness.
Invariably the message for a woman is that if she wants to be successful, she must use her body. This is how you are admired, made friends, and promoted in the world of work. Women look at other women for various reasons. First, they look out of curiosity to judge the attractiveness of their own body in relation to others. Second, women want to learn from other women’s successful styles and behaviors. Lastly, women want to make sure that they are more attractive so that they can feel better about themselves.
The colors that women wear have connotations. Red lipstick or nightwear is eye-catching and daring. Black and lace are associated with provocative nightwear for women. There are no male equivalents. Other women may be offended by female nudity because of this display of male admiration.
We all want to be loved and please a lover. For the most part, there is no conscious intention to misrepresent women’s sexuality. Men sexualize women as part of their arousal process. Men assume that women like to be penetrated. Women passively indicate their kindness by accepting male advances and not contradicting the male view of their sexuality.
A man enjoys fantasies that increase his arousal and promote his sexual ego. Most women have no experience in responsiveness that can help them understand their own sexuality. A woman may feel better about her sexual role if she thinks she can respond the way a man wants her to. Male sexual admiration can make a woman feel needed, appreciated, and loved.
A man’s erection communicates his desire for penetrative sex. A woman has no obvious evidence of her arousal, so she must substitute behaviors. Prostitutes and sexually experienced women give sexual innuendos that a man interprets (based on male sexual behaviors) as a sign that the woman is aroused and actively seeking vaginal stimulation.
A woman has no biological reason to engage in sexual activities outside of her fertile period. A woman becomes pregnant because she ovulates. Your reproductive ability depends solely on your ability to attract a mate. Other female mammals raise their young alone. Humans (and primates) are the only animals where men attack and kill women and children. A woman offers sex to motivate a man to protect her and her children.
The vast majority of interaction between the sexes involves a man who admires a woman. Without this attractive force, men would not care about women. Men would not be willing to subsidize women’s lifestyles either. Women find that this male admiration empowers them in their relationships. So women allow men to make all kinds of innuendo that they silently ignore. In turn, a man comes to interpret silence and passivity as possible acceptance. So women have to be extremely rude before most men will accept rejection. This is the insensitivity that accompanies the male sex drive.
Confusingly, for men, the women who scream the loudest about female orgasm are the ones who have no idea how it is achieved. But because they essentially reflect male fantasies, their claims are very persuasive. This is very natural. But men must differentiate between what women say and what they actually do. The real issue for men is whether a woman is excited about investing in a long-term sexual relationship.
Much of this interest in rare or non-existent forms of sexual performance may represent the man’s illusions, a projection of his own desire to engage in a variety of sexual activities, or his erotic response to the idea that other people, especially women, may be involved in such activities. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)